Novel Spaces decided me. Every member had to submit a head shot and I liked the new blog so much that I didn't even mind. A rectangle with a question mark or a beach scene absolutely would not do. I stuck a hazy cellphone self-portrait in my appointed slot and scheduled a photo shoot with my son. Just in time, too, as the very week the group blog went live Connie Ogle, books editor at the Miami Herald, contacted me about doing a small feature - and a photo was required. All that was left was for my son to appear with his beloved Canon, take a couple shots and I'd be set, right? The fact that I asked twice if he had a slimming lens should have forewarned me.
The morning of the shoot was rainy and grey. The rain eventually stopped and I proceeded to get ready. Predictably, my hair refused to cooperate. Sighing, I hooked it up in my everyday banana comb and gave it up as a lost job. I have all the right makeup but as I rarely touch it, hurriedly swiping on powder and lipstick most days, sudden expertise in such matters as concealer calculus and the Sine Law of eye-shadow application did not spring from my inept fingers. The biggest problem, though, was - the fat. There it was in the first round of photos, mocking me. The Death by Chocolate from Jardin de Tuilleries. The Baileys Irish Cream. The potato salad. All transformed into that f-word. It was hopeless.
My son protested. "But Mom, I love these! You look nice!"
"I look fat! No way. Let's try again." A less good-natured child would have rolled his eyes.
Round two began, this time in the backyard. My skirt was long and the grass was wet. My stomach horrified me despite my son's assurances that he would crop it out. I hated every shot. The problem was not the photography; it was me! The boy requested, then pleaded, and finally ordered: "Smile, Mom. You look like you're suffering. Let's get those dimples. Smile!"
I would have consigned all 125 shots to the recycle bin but my submission to the Herald was due the next morning. I agonized then chose the one that now appears in the sidebar of Novel Spaces, the one in which I had actually managed a half-smile. Get used to it, folks, because it'll be a long while before I subject myself to that particular form of mortification again.
10 comments:
Woohoo!! Dimples!! Liane, Thanks for unveiling the beautiful face behind the beautiful spirit that comes across so clearly in your blog work. And congrats on being featured by Miami Herald and Novel Spaces.
Blessings
Wonderful site! And thanks for the kind comment over at my blog.
Ciao
Lola xx
Hey, you look lovely... if a tad nervous!
I wouldn't criticize because I know how most people hate being photographed without a bikini on ;)
The foreground to the palm branch is nice ;)
Guanaguanare, great to hear from you, seagull! How's the fishing these days? Thank you, thank you, for putting a delighted smile on my face. All blessings in return!
Lola, you're welcome! I bookmarked your post on the fountains of Italy for when I want to escape to one of my dream-places.
ChrisH, thank you! Nervous? A wreck!
akalol, hee hee hee. Thank you for the kind words. Speaking of bikinis, I must pull out my old photos to remind myself... Okay, won't go there. :D
Oh, Babe, I know you see your face every day so it must be old news to you, (mmm, don't read anything into that) but for what it's worth I think you're stunning.
I mean it. Thanks for mananging enough of a smile to get those dimples going, you coy little thing.
Hi Hoodie! Great to see ya around! Thank you for the kind words - now I'm really smiling!
How sad that you don't know how beautiful you are ....
Debi, what can I say? It must be a girl thing. :)
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